|This might be the longest entry *ever*
||[Feb. 4th, 2006|10:44 pm]
Holy crap...something I thought would never happen actually did, and now I dunno how to handle it.
Two days ago, out of nowhere, Matt says that he wants to try being a couple.
I was so shocked when he said that that I was silent until he was like "HELLO???" Then I asked him to repeat what he just said, then I was silent again. I asked him if he was drunk, and he said "A little bit, but I was just laying here thinking about it, and I know it's what should have always been." Then I was silent again, and he was like "So yes or no???" and I told him that we probably should talk about it later, and he said "There is nothing to talk about, I just want it to be." So I said yes.
It's still hard for me to believe that he suddenly wants to be with only me. I dunno if I have a right to think that way, or if I am just being stupid. I know that he loves me, he isn't lying about that. I don't get why it took over a year for him to realize that we just "go" together. I knew that a long time ago, dammit. I'm also having issues giving up my freedom, being able to kiss whoever I want and not feel guilty...that kind of thing. My last actual boyfriend was Caleb. That was a looong time ago. I'm kind of used to being "alone".
I went out with Matt and Joe the day after he asked me, and I felt kinda weird, cuz I didn't know if I was suppose to act differently, or what. I knew he was having the same issues, cuz he sat kinda away from me at first, and then finally he pulled my chair over close to him, and I noticed he was resticting his usual ogling of girls. It was kinda cute. I guess I'm waiting for him to refer to me as his girlfriend to someone. For some reason I need that validation. *sigh* I guess I'm just gonna see what happens, what else can I do?
Other ways my life is suddenly changing:
I got a second job working with Jessica at the Mercy Hospital Coffeeshop. They pay $11.10/hr, and it seems pretty easy. Not a lot of stress, and I don't sweat my ass off like I do at Davannis. And hellooo...MONEY!!!
This just happened tonight: I suddenly got a text msg from a number I didn't recognize, and all it said was "Rosie Fro". Hardly anyone calls me that anymore, so right away I asked who it was, and it was my old friend Becca. I can't fucking believe it. I haven't talked to or seen her in years, and I always wondered how her and the kiddies are. We used to be super close, hopefully we can be that way again.
Things are going the right direction for once. It feels weird.
Now I'll probably get hit by a bus. ;o) lol