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haaaa [Jun. 10th, 2005|03:08 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]

You Are 35% Normal

(Occasionally Normal)

You sure do march to your own beat...

But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all

You think on a totally different wavelength

And it's often a chore to get people to understand you

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Sunburn and shin kicks [Jun. 6th, 2005|02:14 pm]
[mood |soresore]

I am super sunburnt! Owie!

I gotta go back a few days so I remember all that has happened.

First, Phil offically dumped me. Here's how it went:

(This was an offline message) tadar2002: Hey it's a bit early for you so i don't whant to call and wake you up. I have made up my mind about us a few days ago but i couldn't talk becuase of how sick i was. i think you know what i am going to say but if you whant me to tell you, you know my number. ttyl

rubyrosie3: i already knew that you had made up yer mind a long time ago, being that you never talk to me, and when you did talk all you'd do is tell me is what is wrong with me...all i have to say is that you think you know who/how i am and what i am all about, but you don't know anything, and apparently, you never will. Another thing is, that i never said anything about your shortcomings, because i figured i didn't know you enough in order to say anything about them, and i decided to give you a chance...thanks for not doing the same for me.

tadar2002: well most of the time your not up by 11 so i didnt want to wake ya
rubyrosie3 (4:38:24 PM): well i was
rubyrosie3 (4:41:51 PM): not to mention its a lot easier to dump someone on the internet *eye roll*
tadar2002 (4:42:06 PM): i told you to call me when you got it
rubyrosie3 (4:42:33 PM): i have to go to work.
tadar2002 (4:42:40 PM): and dont even roll your eyes at me if i really wanted to be an ass i could have
rubyrosie3 (4:42:48 PM): i'm sure.
tadar2002 (4:42:53 PM): ........
rubyrosie3 (4:43:27 PM): i can't talk now i need to go

Then Phil tried calling my phone a couple times, but I didn't answer cuz I was annoyed and on my way to work, and so he left me a voicemail saying how he didn't plan on just ditching me, how he was "gonna try to be my friend". When I heard that, I thought to myself "I have enough friends, especially boy ones, and they don't tell me how to live my life"

(offline message) tadar2002 (4:49:31 PM): ya know i thought long and hard about this becuase i didnt wanna do this unless i was sure. and now that i want to explan that to you, you dont even answer your phone. i am sorry for not wanting to wake you up i didnt know what you did last night or when you worked to day. so sorry for trying to think of you
rubyrosie3 (11:37:31 PM): I told you i didn't answer my phone because i was trying to get to work cuz i was late, and i didn't especially want to deal with it at that moment
rubyrosie3 (11:40:57 PM): and from my point of view, it seemed that you had made your mind up about me a long time ago

....and that's that. The thing I realized though, is that I wasn't that upset about it. I cried for literally two seconds about it, and it was mostly tears of frustration. Anyone that knows me knows that usually when I get dumped I cry forever, but I just didn't feel that this time. *shrugs*

K, enough about that.

Yesterday I went to Grand Old Day...now I'm sunburned and bruised, and I dunno if Matt ever made it home. I picked up Matt and Joe at 10:30 am, and I knew right away that Matt was already trashed. We ended up meeting Shawn and Adrian, and we watched a few bands. The only band I cared about seeing was Uncle Chunk (www.unclechunk.com). Everyone knew that we needed to leave the stage we were at around 1:20 in order to get to Uncle Chunk's stage by 2. Around 1, Adrian and I went into the bar to use the ATM. Well the line was super long, so by the time we got back to the others it was almost 1:30. So I was all ready to go when we got back...and Matt was nowhere to be found. It turns out that he went into the bar to get another drink. He didn't get back for another 10 min, and then he was yelling at me when I told him to hurry up with his drink so we could go. After he was finally finished, he THEN says he forgot his ATM card in the bar. (GRRRR!) So Shawn, Adrian and I left him there with Joe and we went over to Uncle Chunk. Matt and Joe finally showed up a 1/2 hr later, and we were having a good time, until I made fun of Matt cuz he was stumbling. He responded by kicking me in the shins a bunch of times with his steel-toe boots on. Then he claimed it didn't hurt like I said it did because I was drunk. Um, ok....
It started to rain, and Adrian and I were having a great time dancing around in it. Suddenly, this lady is in my face telling me that Matt grabbed her boobs and how she had sent her husband and the cops after him. I immediately panicked because no one knew where he had ran to, and I didn't know if he got beat down or not. I grabbed Adrian and we walked around trying to find him, and I finally called Shawn, and it turned out Matt was with them. We find them, and as I'm walking up Matt was laughing about what happened. I told him I was leaving and that I wasn't driving him anywhere. He chased after me, trying to tell me it was an accident, but I knew he was lying. I told him to go away, and he finally did. I ended up walking past him at Super America where I saw him pouting. I got about a 1/2 block away, and I turned around and decided that maybe I shouldn't leave him. When I saw him, he was laughing with some chick by the door. I was like "pfft fuck this shit" and left him.
So I was drunk...and I was stumbling down Grand Ave. by myself...when I realized that....
I didn't know where my car was.
I had to call Jennifer and she had to do mapquest to tell me which direction to go. I noticed that people kept looking at me weird, and I wasn't totally sure why. Eventually I told Jennifer I couldn't walk anymore because my legs wouldn't go, and she called Dandrea to come get me. (thanks again sista friend) I got in my car, and drove to my grandparents house, where I tried to act normal. When I looked in the mirror, I realized that people had been looking at me weird cuz my hair was crazy from being in the rain, I was sunburned, and I had been stumbling around drunk, spilling pop on myself. OMG EMBARASSING.....but funny.
After I was done visiting my grandparents I headed over to O'Donovans. How I was still awake, I dunno. I was happy cuz Dandrea and her new friend Jeff came too. I was in a loopy mood from the sun and various other things, so I was sure that I'd be able to grab Rob and kiss him and not think about it. But...no. Jessica went over to him and was like "Ya know, you and Rosie would make a really cute couple" and I guess he got all uncomfortable and just said "She's a terrific woman" and that was it. GRRR. What the hell is that suppose to mean?? At the end of the night I offered Rob a ride home, and I slept in his bed with him, as usual, and nothing happened. GRRR. Its not like I want to bone or anything, but still...nothing?? at all?? I don't get it. *shakes fist*

Ok I've been typing forever and I think I covered everything, so I'm sooo done.

k bye <3
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ugh [May. 28th, 2005|08:03 pm]
[mood |aggravatedaggravated]

First, let me vent some anger/frustration.



As usual, Phil turned out to be a jerk.
He had mentioned to Jessica that he thought I still wanted to be with Matt, cuz we still hangout a lot. So, in an attempt to make him feel more secure, I brought it up to him and tried to make it clear that Matt and I are just friends. He then wanted to know why I am still friends with Matt even though we fight a lot. I tried to explain to him that I have little fights/arguments sometimes with almost all of my friends, and the next day everything is fine and dandy again (most of the time). He didn't seem to understand that, and he went on about how if we become a "committed couple" that he'll have to deal with Matt if he's mean to me. I saw his point of view, but at the same time he was totally telling me who he thought I should and should not be friends with. Then he starting going on about how I need to take care of myself and go to school. Uhm, like I didn't KNOW that already??? Well anyway, to sum it up, he pretty much called me a drunk loser that needs to workout. Not in those exact words, but that was totally his message. He made me feel completely horrible about myself.
This bothers me, because that fucker doesn't even have a JOB. Did I EVER comment to him about that?? Nooo...
Now we haven't spoken in a couple days...and I just recently left him a message saying "Ya know, if you don't want to see me anymore, you could at least LET ME KNOW". I'm sick of people deciding they don't want to see me anymore and just acting like I don't exist. I want a damn explanation for once.

Am I upset? YES.

The main reason is that apparently I am not allowed to get upset or have any sort of disagreement with a guy, cuz they almost immediatley dump me. What the hell? I should be able to say exactly what I feel without fear of being dumped on the spot...but that doesn't happen. Phil was talking to me like he's known me for years. He obviously doesn't know me if he thinks I'm a drunk loser, cuz I know damn well I'm not. Yah, I don't go to school and I have a shitty job, and I do go out a lot. My life has been confusing the last couple years and I just let things go for a lil while, and now I'm trying to fix it. I know I don't have all the answers, and I don't expect myself to. If someone else can't handle that, go screw yourself. I refuse to change who I am just so someone else will like me.

And that...puts me back on the subject of Matt.

*sigh* Alright...almost all of my friends dislike him in some sort of way. I DO understand why, because when me and him were having our "relationship arguments" back in January, he was very very rude to me, and my friends. I am not blind to this, I obviously was there when it happened, and I never said it was ok. The thing is, no one is letting it go. He has been a million times nicer recently than he used to be, even though he still drinks too much. He is quicker to admit when he's wrong, and he apologizes when needed.
...however, now he's being kind of weird, and I don't know what to make of it. For example: I have had pinkeye for the last couple days (gross I know). I told Phil about it, and he was like "EWWW stay the hell away from me." I was like "Uh yah whatever..." Then when I told Matt, he was like "OMG, I can't hangout with you for awhile if you have that...get over that quick, ok???" Then at the end of our conversation he ended up telling me he wanted me to come out anyway. I thought to myself *Thats how PHIL should have treated me.* Then that night we were talking, and he was like "You know, I told Adrian that you are the only girl I can talk to." And then he started crying and apologizing for the way he has treated me in the past. I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. That night when we fell asleep, I woke up and found him holding my hand...then another time I woke up he was stroking my hair...the last time he did that stuff was the first week I met him. At the same time, everytime we go out he hits on EVERY GIRL EVER. I don't know what to think...so I decided I'm not gonna think about it, cuz all it does is cause trouble. LOL

Why the hell is my life so weird? I swear, the gods watch my life with amusement.

God #1: "Hey! What can we do to Rosie today?!"
God #2: "It's about time she got dumped again, isn't it?"
God #1: "Hey yer right! GET 'ER DONE!"

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Are you happy now? I updated! [May. 17th, 2005|04:59 pm]
[mood |fullfull]

Hmm...what should I type about.

I have been working what seems like a million hours a week, but I'm not seeing a whole lot of money. My back, knees, and neck hurt all the time. It sucks. I'm trying to be a "trooper" and suck it up, but it's beginning to wear on me.

I am pretty sure I want to go to school to be an EMT. It's gonna be hard work, and I know it, but I need to learn some sort of discipline. I like medical stuff, I'm calm in emergency situations, and gross stuff doesn't bother me. I think it's a good fit. *nods*

I met a rad guy off of Yahoo named Phil. We got a long right away, which is weird, cuz internet boys usually bug the piss outta me. He's going to Dunwoody for *robotics*...how weird/rad is that? He's a school/computer geek, but he rides a motorcycle and has an attitude problem. He rarely drinks and rarely smokes, which is the type of person I need to be around. He is trying to teach me self-discipline and stuff, and I'm trying to get him to loosen up a bit. So far we work well together. I am semi-worried though, because he just got out of a 2 year relationship a few weeks ago. He says they should have broken up a long time ago, but never did...eh...
I tend to always be "the rebound girl". I know why...I'm rowdy, and I'm horny. It makes me giggle when I type that, but it's true. I hate it at the same time though, I want someone to like me for me, not because I am different than their ex-girlfriend. Well whatever. We will see what happens.
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15 times! woot! [Apr. 23rd, 2005|04:39 pm]
[mood |gigglygiggly]

Would anyone want to bang you? by phobia
Favorite Food:
Wants to Bang you:
This many times:15
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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Wow, this made me giggle [Apr. 13th, 2005|06:20 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||| 56%
Stability |||||| 30%
Orderliness |||||||||| 36%
Empathy |||||||||||||||| 70%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 63%
Intellectual |||||||||||| 50%
Mystical |||||||||||||||| 63%
Artistic |||||||||| 36%
Religious |||| 16%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||| 63%
Materialism |||||||||| 36%
Narcissism |||||||||||| 43%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Work ethic |||||||||| 36%
Self absorbed |||||| 30%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 50%
Need to dominate |||||||||||| 43%
Romantic |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 50%
Anti-authority |||||||||| 36%
Wealth |||||| 23%
Dependency |||||||||||||||| 63%
Change averse |||||||||||| 43%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Individuality |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Sexuality |||||||||||| 50%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||| 50%
Physical security |||||||||||||||| 70%
Food indulgent |||||||||||| 43%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 63%
Vanity |||||||||||| 50%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Female cliche |||||||||||||||| 63%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
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Welcome to Random thoughts with Rosie [Apr. 12th, 2005|06:59 pm]
[mood |weirdweird]

I have been contemplating my life all day now.

I feel like I have a heavy stone sitting on my chest, but I'm not having a panic attack.

I'm trying to figure out where I am going, what I should be doing, and who I want there to do it with me.

I have been told a lot recently that I need to "keep better company"...and I know that they are right. I have to admit, that Jason the Walker's comment on "the crowd I hang with" has gotten to me. It makes me wonder how many other people ditched me because they couldn't handle being around my friends. I know that some of my friends are difficult, whether it be drinking or attitude problems, or whatever, but I can't change that, and I still love them. When people bitch about my friends, I try not to use the line "but you don't know them like I do", cuz I hate that, but I find myself saying that more and more.
Speaking of social crap...
I need to get on some sort of medical assistance, and get my ass some social anxiety medication. I am not a huge fan of the crap, but I know from past experience that it works. My social anxiety is getting worse by the month, and sometimes I get so petrified to talk to someone that I will do anything to avoid them, which makes it really hard to meet people. When my social anxiety is bad, so is my alcohol intake. It's the only thing that makes me able to talk to people without getting all weird. How sad is that?

I sort of tallied up my debt today, and I owe about $8000 on only TWO of my credit cards. *pukes* I had been trying to keep my debt a secret from my dad, because I didn't want him bitching at me, but with collectors calling all the time, that was impossible. He called me today from work, and he said that he owes some money for taxes so is taking out a 2nd mortgage, and he is willing to take money from that and loan it to me to pay the debt, and then I'll make the payments on the 2nd mortgage. My payments are gonna be around $150 a month, compared to the $500 or so the credit cards want from me. *let's out a little sigh of relief* I should have just told him about this a couple months ago, and I wouldn't be in such trouble right now. Hindsight. Always 20/20.

I have been hanging out with Rob the Knab from karaoke a bit more, which I think is a good thing. I've known him since September and I still haven't found anything really wrong with him. I'm waiting though. I can't help it, my glass is half empty. (Unless the glass contains Captain, then it's totally empty) *retarded chuckle*

I still haven't heard from Nate. He broke my heart and doesn't even know it. Not to mention totally confusing me.

Caleb has been on my mind more than usual lately, and I'm not too sure how I feel about that. Last week I got the surprising news that he had broken up with Missy. I went over to Missy's apartment and consoled her the best I could, but all I could really tell her is that I knew how she felt. I know there is not much else one can do. But that's not even what I meant to type about.
...it might be the weather, I don't know....
When he had told me he liked me back in June, we were sitting on my car outside Jennifer's trailer, and it was warm, breezy, and starry, the typical geeky setting. Everytime I go outside at night and it's warm, breezy, and starry, I immediately think of that night, and I grin, and then it makes me sad. It makes me sad that I can't go back and change anything. I wouldn't change too much, just a few things about myself that I haven't realized until recently.
This hasn't bothered me in awhile. I'm frustrated that I can't shake him. He's like a dog turd on the bottom of my shoe, and I've been trying to scrape him off for almost a year now. I think I feel that way because I feel like he didn't really give me a chance. I don't think I really gave him one though either, and it bothers me. It's unfortunate. *shakes head*

Hindsight. Always 20/20.
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Same shit, 2 different dudes [Apr. 3rd, 2005|03:18 pm]
[mood |confusedconfused]

I know I haven't typed about Jason the Walker for a bit now.

....I'm pretty sure I will have nothing more to say about him.

I called him up about a week ago to ask him why he hasn't called me in like 2 months...ya know, cuz he's in love with me and such. The convo was like this:

Me: Dude, what's the deal anyway?
Him: I still have no job, and no money
Me: No, I mean, why don't you EVER call me?
Him: (snotty tone of voice) I've been busy...and I'M SEEING SOMEONE
Me: Ohhh *rolls eyes*
Him: (snotty again) Yah, so just so you know, if you wanna come over and have a beer thats cool, but ain't nothin ever gonna happen between us. I don't like the crowd you hang with.
Me: What the fuck does that mean?
Him: Yer friend Chris used to call me up and harrass me
Me: Are you fucking kidding me? I don't even talk to Chris anymore, and he's in rehab.
Him: (starts to say something)
Me: Dude, and yer not gonna hangout with ME because of my FRIENDS??? Don't ever fuckin judge me by my friends, you douchebag. Not to mention you never even tried to hangout with just me unless you wanted to get laid. Go to hell.

...and I hang up. (hehe)

*THATS* what I get for messing around with a 21 yr old. *shakes head*

Then there's Nate. *sigh*

I've determined that something is weird in his life at the moment, and it's obviously something that he doesn't want me involved with. I haven't seen him in almost 2 weeks now, and I've tried to make plans with him, but he always flakes out on me. If it was just left at that, I'd just move right on, but he is always apologizing and telling me to "hang in there with him". Everything he says to me is almost said in a hidden message sort of way...it's very confusing to me. For example, the last time I saw him, we were going to sleep, and out of nowhere he goes "Don't go anywhere on me, ok?" and I was like "What do you mean?" and then he made it into a joke by saying "Don't move to California or nothin." *shrugs* I really don't get it. But I've decided I'm not going to call him, he knows my number.

I'm just really frustrated. I'm trying to have the "nothing is wrong with me, it's them" mentality, but it's beginning to not work so well. Those negative thoughts are sneaky bastards.

<3 peace out homies
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I have always loved this. [Apr. 1st, 2005|03:34 am]
[mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]

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Time for some funnies [Mar. 31st, 2005|11:28 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Cause:drug abuse
Symptoms:dementia, excessive confusion, turning to stone, high temperature
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
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